Wedding Ceremony

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Scroll down to see the various elements of a wedding ceremony and some of the options you may want to consider in your planning. This is very much in development but this will give you an idea of the flow of things. There will be different options that you can get to from here as well so keep your eye open for those links.

The Introduction – explanation

After the groom has taken his place, the bridal party makes their entry. Just a heads up – I usually do my services with the wedding party facing their guests. This means that the men are on the left side of the room and the ladies on the right. It is the opposite of what you see in most church weddings. This change of sides keeps the bride on the heart side of the groom. To your right, or just below if viewing on a cellphone or tablet, is a basic introduction I would use to begin the ceremony.

THE SCRIPTURAL BACKGROUND

GENESIS 2: 19-24

Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air, and all the beasts of the field.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

WOMAN FROM MAN’S SIDE

When God created man and placed him in the Garden of Eden, he realized immediately that it wasn’t good for human beings to live alone. So he created a helper and a companion for man. We notice from the Scriptures that God didn’t take woman from man’s head, lest she rule over him, nor from his feet, lest he should trample upon her. No, he took woman from man’s side that she should be his equal, and from close to his heart, that he should love and cherish her.

The scriptures also tell us that marriage was honored by the presence of Christ at the marriage feast in Cana of Galilee. Jesus also used the figure of marriage to symbolize the great day when he, the bridegroom, adorned in all his glory, will come for the church which he has purchased with his own blood. Marriage was also commended by the apostle Paul as a holy and honorable way of life. A marriage sanctioned by God is a union of two lives – two hearts that beat as one – so welded together that they walk and work in harmony through all the days of their lives. A husband and wife should bear each other’s burdens as well as share each other’s joys. This is the type of marriage that Ken and Barbie seek today as they come before us to ask God’s blessing upon their union.

Options Before the Vows

This next section could have four different elements. Three of them are optional but the Scripture and Pastoral Remarks are not. I do reserve the right to speak a few words to the bride and groom on such an important occasion.

First Element – Giving of the Bride

Pastor Dave: “And who gives this woman to be married to this man?”

Someone Says: “I do.” (this can be done by the bride’s father or mother or both or someone else and they can say things like “We do” in unison or one of them can say “Her mother/father and I do.”)

Second Element – The Charge

“I require and charge you both as you stand in the Presence of God, to remember that love and loyalty alone will avail as the foundation of a happy and enduring home. No other human ties are more tender, no other vows more sacred than those you now assume. If these solemn vows are faithfully kept, and if steadfastly you endeavor to do the will of your Heavenly Father, your life will be full of joy, and the home you are establishing will abide in peace.

Third Element – Scripture and Pastoral Remarks

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NIV)

Personal words from the pastor here…

Fourth Element – God’s Definition of Love

Read by …..

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Read by ……

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13: 1-8; 13

Vows

This section has the possibility of three movements as part of the vows. Only vows are required but if you would like to broaden this section a bit, you can consider using the Question Concerning Commitment and Promise Statements I have included here. Remember, these are not required. There will also be some links to other statement and vow options.

Movement One – The Question Concerning Commitment

Ken, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, so long as you both shall live?

Ken: “I will.”

Barbie, will you have this man to be your wedded husband, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor, and keep him, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him, so long as you both shall live.

Barbie: “I will.”

Movement Two – Wedding Promises (spoken in unison)

With God’s help, I will understand your feelings of disappointment, and heartaches, and your joys.

I will be there to listen, to comfort, and to share.

I promise to be open and honest with you and with myself.

I promise you my love, for today and the tomorrows to come.

I promise not to doubt or mistrust you but to grow and add to your life of content.

I promise never to try to change you, and will accept the changes you make in yourself.

I will accept your love for me without fear of tomorrow.

I promise to give myself to you, not just what I feel like giving, but all of me, because I love you and trust God with my future.

(Click here for more statements you could use) Make sure you install a back button for this page and others you send them to.

Movement Three – Traditional Marriage Vows

I, Ken, take you, Barbie, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, so long as we both shall live, according to God’s holy law; and thereto I pledge you my faith.

I, Barbie, take you, Ken, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, so long as we both shall live, according to God’s holy law; and thereto I pledge you my faith.

Option Four – There are some Other Vows you could use or work with to create your very own unique commitment statements. Click here to go to the extra idea page for vows.

Before the Pronouncement

There are some cool ideas for what you could include in your ceremony before I pronounce you husband and wife. Check out these options. You may use some, one, or none of these. It is up to you except for the Pastoral Prayer of Blessing.

Blessing and Exchanging of Rings

Lord, bless these rings which we bless in your name. Grant that those who wear them may always have a deep faith in each other. May they do your will and always live together in peace, good will and love.

Ken Says: “Barbie, take this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

Barbie Says: “Ken, take this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

PLEASE JOIN HANDS

Let these rings continue to you both a symbol of the value, the purity, and the constancy of true wedded love, and a seal of the vows you have now made.

Pastoral Prayer of Blessing (Extemporaenous)

Signing of the Register – Can be done after the ceremony, which I recommend unless you have a live music number that you want as part of your wedding.

Sand Ceremony

Pastor Dave: Please note this empty container. Glass itself is made from sand and the sands of time have come together, melting into one piece to make this vessel. The sands of time should remind us all of enduring love and our mortality.

Ken, Barbie, and Children, today you are representing your love for each other in a special sand ceremony. Your relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these individual containers of sand into the one that represents the togetherness and unity that you desire as a family. We realize that in order for the home to be a happy one, it is essential that there be love and understanding between the child and the adults being married.

As you each hold your sand, the separate containers represent your lives; individual and unique. Now, as you combine your sands, your lives also are combined as one unit. Your marriage and your family will be together, just as these grains of sand are now together.

Hands Ceremony

Please take each other’s hands, so that you may see the gift that they have been to you. These are the hands of your best friend, strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on this wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever. These are the hands that will work alongside yours as together you build your future.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief temporarily comes to you. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children, the hands that will keep your family joined as one. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it, support and encouragement to pursue your dreams, and comfort through difficult times.

And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

Candlelighting Ceremony

You are now entering into that holy estate of matrimony, which is the deepest mystery of human experience and a type of Christ’s love for the church. Your lighted candles are symbols of your individual lives, each with it’s own personality and interests. Marriage is an act of loving surrender. You no longer go your separate ways. As you bring the flames of your separate candles together….

To light the candle of a larger and fuller life, your lives are fused as one. ” Therefore shall a man leave his mother and father and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” Genesis 2:24. Now each of you must blow out the candle….

Representing you individual life for the sake of the light, which represents your lives together. In giving up, you receive. Through this act you find the fullness of life and the purpose of living. In the home you are establishing, let the flame of true love burn brightly, and the love of God’s light shine undiminished.

General Intercessions

Pastor Dave: For Ken and Barbie, now united in marriage, and for their relationship with God: let us pray.